I stand in the corner of the ring with my hands in my gloves
I’ve trained for years to defeat the enemy I’m afraid of
I take a deep breath get into the proper state of mind
Hoping that this battle is the last of its kind
I try to fight the weight of my words
And I try to find the weight of my worth
I’m so sick of the waiting and worrying
I wish I had all the strength of my adversaries
I walk down the stairs and my body it moves
First my feet then my legs then my stomach all bruised
From the bloating and gluttonous ways of my life
I just want to remove all the weight that’s inside
I put my fists on up in front of my face
And I pray to God that I will be saved
From this overbearing self-conscious hell
I am always up against the heavyweight champion of myself
I’ve fought many others that have seemed even stronger than this feeling
Sometimes I get so nervous of my image I stop breathing
I fear the day when I take a new lover home
When we undress she laughs and then leaves me alone
Oh no am I crazy or too concerned?
I just feel like lately I’ve been so burned
Out on what I’m thinking and what I know
The difference is massive like this chest pain below
I walk down the street and my body it shakes
First my toes then my fingers then parts of my face
From the anxiously jittering nerves in my brain
I feel sick I feel sad I feel stupid and strange
I put my fists on up in front of my face
And I pray to God that I will be saved
From this overbearing self-conscious hell
I am always up against the heavyweight champion of myself
I’ve never been much of an athlete
‘Cause the times I’ve tried have always ended badly
I feel much more safe if I’m up on a stage
But I get so god damn nervous with the spotlight on my face
I hide myself in loose fitting clothes
As I throw the first punch to the nose
A swing, a common miss
And then my gut takes three hard hits
I wanna lose it, just lose it
I put my fists on up in front of my face
And I pray to God that I will be saved
From this overbearing self-conscious hell
I am always up against the heavyweight champion of myself
The new EP from Scottish songwriter Alec Bowman_Clarke goes deep, setting vulnerable lyrics to gentle melodies & stripped-back arrangements. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 30, 2021
Alec Bowman perfectly captures the dark soil under the pastoral world of British folk with this collection of melancholy originals. Bandcamp New & Notable May 12, 2020