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Insomniac Blues II: Most Massive Down

from Love Beats The Demon by L. Mounts

/

lyrics

I’m shallow and broken, you’ve heard this one before
And nothing that I do is gonna settle the score
Between love and hatred of me and my body
And peers and acquaintances and everyone around me
I feel useless a lot but it’s not justified
‘Cause I’m stupid and self-obsessed and so unpurified
And night after night I just can’t seem to shake
My body’s obsession with staying awake

Will someone convince me I’m valuable?
‘Cause I’m getting less and less malleable
My self deprecation’s intentional
So this is my confessional

I’m heartbroke and tired, the same old kinda thing
That you’ve heard millions of times from everybody
My feelings aren’t original and neither are my songs
The only unique thing about me is that I’ve survived this long
And I talk way too much and people say I’m pretentious
But I’ve never once thought myself bigger than other humans
And I hate the way my voice sounds right before I start to cry
And you don’t care about any of this and I know exactly why

But will someone convince me I’m valuable?
‘Cause I’m getting less and less malleable
My self-deprecation’s intentional
So this is my confessional

And I sulk right through the halls of my school
And I’m ignored and unnoticed like the uncommon fool
And I just keep on trying to stop myself from dying
So I find my old mask and I keep reapplying
The same old disguise just like “Everything’s fine,
and I’m totally satisfied with all of my life”
People see through the lies and I feel criticized
And they ask me why I cannot open my eyes

‘Cause I’m sleeping that’s all I want to do
Just be sleeping till the day is done in through
I know I’d be all right if I could spend my nights
Fucking sleeping

credits

from Love Beats The Demon, released April 1, 2014

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L. Mounts Chicago, Illinois

Singer of songs. Abstainer of substances. Bringer of plagues.

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