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Love Beats The Demon

by L. Mounts

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1.
Insomniac Blues II: Most Massive Down 05:03
lyrics
I’m shallow and broken, you’ve heard this one before And nothing that I do is gonna settle the score Between love and hatred of me and my body And peers and acquaintances and everyone around me I feel useless a lot but it’s not justified ‘Cause I’m stupid and self-obsessed and so unpurified And night after night I just can’t seem to shake My body’s obsession with staying awake Will someone convince me I’m valuable? ‘Cause I’m getting less and less malleable My self deprecation’s intentional So this is my confessional I’m heartbroke and tired, the same old kinda thing That you’ve heard millions of times from everybody My feelings aren’t original and neither are my songs The only unique thing about me is that I’ve survived this long And I talk way too much and people say I’m pretentious But I’ve never once thought myself bigger than other humans And I hate the way my voice sounds right before I start to cry And you don’t care about any of this and I know exactly why But will someone convince me I’m valuable? ‘Cause I’m getting less and less malleable My self-deprecation’s intentional So this is my confessional And I sulk right through the halls of my school And I’m ignored and unnoticed like the uncommon fool And I just keep on trying to stop myself from dying So I find my old mask and I keep reapplying The same old disguise just like “Everything’s fine, and I’m totally satisfied with all of my life” People see through the lies and I feel criticized And they ask me why I cannot open my eyes ‘Cause I’m sleeping that’s all I want to do Just be sleeping till the day is done in through I know I’d be all right if I could spend my nights Fucking sleeping
2.
You Told Me Nothing 04:44
lyrics
I finally had the courage to tell you what I wanted But as it turns out the past week's been a lie I don't know what to think anymore, I'm feeling hurt and haunted I'd like to have an explanation but would you even tell me why You told me nothing Nothing at all You told me nothing Nothing at all Not a single word to your response, a simple no would've been fine But instead you hide in silence and fear for what I might do Rejection is something that's not new to me, but you have crossed a line Well what a week wasted away I regret ever speaking to you You told me nothing Nothing at all You told me nothing Nothing at all When I walk outside the skies are darker than grey And sadly it reminds me of everything that you didn't say You told me nothing Nothing at all You told me nothing Nothing at all
3.
Cross Country Bound 02:08
lyrics
Well I love the city and the city loves me back Yeah I love this city from the roads to the railroad tracks But the women that seem to love me most Are hangin’ out on the opposite coasts Well I guess my heart is just cross country bound Well I’m on a train but I ain’t goin’ nowhere I love this town but sometimes I wanna get out of here ‘Cause every night and every day I long for something far away Well I guess my heart is just cross country bound Well I love the city and the city treats me right From the sunlit days to building brightening nights But State Street just don’t have enough Deserving women to have my love Well I guess my heart is just cross country bound
4.
Two Strangers 03:08
lyrics
Two strangers could have more in common than two best friends Like how a demon from Hell could fall in love with a Godsend Two strangers could have more in common than two best friends Like how movie versions novels never eventually get it right in the end Two strangers sitting in silence Two strangers sitting in silence She likes Pearl Jam and I like Adam Ant She likes Alkaline Trio, I’m not a huge fan but I could deal with that We’ve got both of our eyes glued to our phones ignoring the situation Stern looks on both of our faces, two strangers afraid to start a conversation Two strangers sitting in silence Two strangers sitting in silence She’s got black fingernails, well I once had black fingernails She’s got a pair of studded jeans, well I once had a pair of studded jeans She’s got red, red hair, well I never had red, red hair But both my mother and father did, that really doesn’t matter, just thought I’d mention Two strangers sitting in silence Two strangers sitting in silence Two strangers sitting in silence Two strangers sitting in silence
5.
Love Beats The Demon 03:37
lyrics
As days fall and I lay awake in the night Thinking if everything in my life will soon be all right Well I truly believe if your heart’s on your sleeve You’ll never get nowhere, you’ll never want to leave So get up and stop all your weepin’ ‘Cause if there’s one thing I know, love beats the demon As I crawl and stumble through all my mistakes I brush all the dust off my shoulders and I know that things will surely be okay So if your heart feels broken apart Just revel in the patchwork and get ready to restart And soon you’ll see the sun gleamin’ ‘Cause if there’s one thing I know, love beats the demon As I recall the times I’ve felt weak and alone Somebody shows up and becomes more important that they’ll ever know And I get obsessed and it’s not for the best But at least I’m attaching myself to happiness And then I go back to my sleepin’ ‘Cause if there’s one thing I know, love beats the demon
6.
Polar Vortex Blues 03:04
lyrics
It’s cold and it’s snowy and the wind is hard and harsh When I’m old I’m going to try and take care of my heart The temperature is fifteen below and I’m going to try to learn how to let go It’s cold and it’s snowy and the wind is hard and harsh It’s cold and I’m freezing and my bedroom is lonelier than me When I’m old I’ll be believing that I’ll be able to break free From my own mind that dictates these rhymes and I’ll make sure to smile before it’s my time It’s cool and I’m freezing and my bedroom is lonelier than me It’s cold and I’m trembling the brightness still leaks through the dark When I’m old I’ll be sending shockwaves of lost love to my heart When the doctors hear me croak and yell “Clear” and I manage to make it and somehow be here I’ll be cold and trembling with the brightness leaking through the dark
7.
Stigmata Song 02:11
lyrics
Well the preacher tried to tell me Jesus died today Thousands of years ago He was sent on his way To the cross To the cross To the cross He said they took some nails And drove them through his palms And Jesus wailed and moaned Singin’ the old stigmata song On the cross On the cross On the cross Well I ain’t no prophet And I’m losing life’s old game And I’m telling ya I wouldn’t mind A rusty spike right through my brain To cross To cross To cross me out
8.
Since I Left You 03:57
lyrics
There’s a hole in my chest where my heart used to be There’s a black vortex where my soul used to sleep There’s nest in my stomach where the butterflies used to lie And since I left you darling all I want to do is die I’m a prick for the things that I said to the world I’m regretful as I sing about how you’re no longer my girl I’m useless and worn and beat up, sleepy-eyed And since I left you darling all I want to do is die I promised you all that I could give And I didn’t give you shit I should have been stronger to stay with you longer And work my way through it You can call me a bastard that’s the name I deserve You can call me when you want to and scream those hateful words You can call me out on all of my deception and my lies ‘Cause since I left you darling all I want to do is die
9.
White Capsules 03:21
lyrics
Well I’ll never be a father And I’ll never have a wife And I’ll never get no woman To help me through my life ‘Cause if you ain’t got love Then what’s the point of livin’? I got this bottle of white capsules And a million reasons to die Well my buddies don’t come ‘round no more But I don’t come ‘round them ‘Cause they’re too busy drinkin’ While I’m lyin’ in my bed But if you don’t get sleep Then what’s the point of dreamin’? I got this bottle of white capsules And a million reasons to die Some say I have the music Some say I got the mind But music don’t sell shit no more And thoughts are out of style ‘Cause if you don’t get happy What’s the point of thinkin’? I got this bottle of white capsules And a million ways to die
10.
I'm So Lonesome I Could Set Myself On Fire 09:07
lyrics
Let these guitar strings cut into my fingers So deep that the pain from the callouses lingers Forever like my inevitable tinnitus I’m ready to be cast off from the brightness ‘Cause all I can muster up energy to think About is how much I hate cute girls who drink And even those that don’t give me physical pain They all smile and I get aneurysms in my brain And I just do not care that Phil Hoffman is dead There are much more severe things to put in perspective Like hundreds of friends who feel alone and lost ‘Cause some reckless drunk driving killed Sarah McCausland And though she was not a big part in my life I have seen the pain flow through acquaintances’ eyes And I don’t get much sleep though I do have the power But I stay up late and I write through the hours When will I get out of this depressive state When will I realize it’s never too late When will I find the right things to acquire I’m so lonesome I could set myself on fire The snow will keep falling and temperature, colder We go through the motions and keep getting older And losing all track of what we could be doing But constantly tracking the things that we’re losing And taking advantage of all of our privileges Treating our gluttony like it is sacrilege Well I’ve sinned much more than my hands can amount to I waste so much time dead asleep in my classrooms And teachers are worried I won’t do my work And I’m worried they’re right like completion is clerical Well I will not be educated by God ‘Cause he never took one damn second to respond And I sit in my room all throughout the weekends I stumble back in, eyes look like they’ve been beaten Like anything anyone says will make me crack If I had my own choice I would never go back I could get away from all of the judgment and stares And if I stopped showing up, tell me who really would care? This building and the world aren’t the first things I want to expire I’m so lonesome I could set myself on fire

about

Ninth studio album recorded at Vladimir Putin On The Ritz on March 30, 2014.

This is Freedom Paradox Recording 068.

credits

released April 1, 2014

All songs produced, mixed, recorded, written, and performed by L. Mounts, with equipment loaned and photos taken by Michael Molitor.

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L. Mounts Chicago, Illinois

Singer of songs. Abstainer of substances. Bringer of plagues.

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