I watch you sing your little words
And every note and syllable just hurts
I watch you beg for something more
But what I have isn’t what you’re looking for
I stay inside, I go to bed
I exercise the words inside my head
And I try to be so tough
No matter what I’m still not strong enough
There’s children aged at six who have a better grasp of living
Than the one that I currently possess
I struggle and strive just to have you in my arms
But the inside of my arms remains a mess
I am sticking to the notion that I haven’t got a thing
To prove my worth no matter how much you retort
I’m living but I’m living without other human beings
So at this point what is really living for?
I watch you breathe your little breaths
And every bit is cleaner than the next
I watch you plea for redemption
But what I’ve saved is not worth a mention
I go outside, I sweat and shake
I’m stretching out each corner of my weight
And I try to seem okay
No matter what, I leave here to decay
And memories of lovers that I do not ever speak to
Haunt the walls of every room inside my house
Every bed is soiled through and there’s nothing left to do
But to throw all of the bleak evidence out
Like the knife that I was wishing I could cut her toxic heart with
That laid on the kitchen counter while we fucked
And stains upon the carpet where I stand and bleed my brains out
Are from here on out devoid of any love
I watch you speak your little speech
About your pain and lack of remedies
I watch my hands clench with regret
For not being more forward when we met
I do not move, I stay here slain
By every way you wouldn’t say my name
I write you off, and then back in
I’ve no potential, but still I try again
The new EP from Scottish songwriter Alec Bowman_Clarke goes deep, setting vulnerable lyrics to gentle melodies & stripped-back arrangements. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 30, 2021
Alec Bowman perfectly captures the dark soil under the pastoral world of British folk with this collection of melancholy originals. Bandcamp New & Notable May 12, 2020