They say the first person you think about right when you wake up
is the person making you happiest or saddest
that means someone in your life is significant enough to either
make you cry or travel halfway across your atlas
And you just don’t have the time to sit down and deal with
The trials and tribulations of all the snot-nosed bastards
‘Cause if you spend too much time making too many people happy
You’ll forget about yourself and you will surely get your ass kicked
If you’re ever feeling like you can’t get out and you feel locked up and trapped
You think something has to chains but you can’t undo the shackles
And the only dirty secrets that you have left to hide
Is the vintage stack of pornos lying underneath your mattress
And it’s really hard to stay so upbeat and optimistic
When the whole wide world around you has gone completely batshit
When the heat becomes too much and the cold so bitter you can’t stand it
You’re left to brush out your expression, the big bad world’s your canvas

And life gets thrown at you so hard and so fast
It’s unbelievable to think that you could really catch it
‘Cause every day it alters and it switches up its speed
Some days it’s full of harmony and some days full of madness
And whose idea was it to make it so easy to die?
Maybe it was Eve’s or it maybe it was Adam’s
Or maybe it was Snow White who simply tried to show us
That you never know when you might get a batch of poison apples

Three knocks on your front door, the mailman’s here to see you
And he greets you with the presence of an unexpected package
You bring it in and cut up the packing tape all around it
And to your surprise there’s nothing in it
And you’ll never get to go on that cross-country expedition
And you’ll never get a chance to have a big fantastic voyage
It if you sit inside your house and whine and mope and ask
“Why in the hell was I put on this Earth” Well it’s not so you could ask that