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I Will Not Support You In Being Alive

by L. Mounts

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1.
Villanelle 03:54
lyrics
Sat down tonight to write a villanelle But hadn't an idea of what to write A simple way to escape from my hell The sequence was a bit too hard to spell As I stayed up all hours of the night Sat down tonight to write a villanelle I hadn't an idea of what to tell The stories never seemed to come out right A simple way to escape from my hell This feeling I am knowing all too well The signals on the screen are clear and bright Sat down tonight to write a villanelle Attempt to be an amateur Jacques Brél But words they never seemed to reach the light A simple way to escape from my hell A story I would recite as I fell And when I land I will not be all right Sat down tonight to write a villanelle A simple way to escape from my hell
2.
Break 08:44
lyrics
I had to break a young girl's heart To save our future now A bastard king whose throne was built On broken, thwarted crowns She wanted me to salvage it I just simply could not She stopped and turned and looked at me And I saw her heart drop The previous two months had stirred A feeling in my gut I couldn't take it anymore I knew I had to trust The instincts that my mind displayed And that my stomach felt She said I gave her heaven but Now she's in total hell I had to break a young girl's heart Although I didn't want To truly end it but I had No other choice at all Some friends of hers say she's okay Some friends say that she's not And I've moved on much faster than I ever would have thought And it is kind of scaring me But all in all I guess The ending of us truly was In some ways for the best But eight long months abruptly stopped By fights that reoccurred This time it wasn't over in The morning, I was sure I had to break a young girl's heart Now she is breaking down 'Cause she had such high hopes for me And now I'm not around Her head is aching every day Hope she gets better soon I knew it would be all my fault When we sat in that room The final talk we'd ever have Was just the first of three Each one simply got worse and worse So my apologies I'm sorry it ended like this I'm sorry for it all I'm sorry that I crushed your dream Of still being my doll I had to break a young girl's heart I had no other choice Now all she sees is blackness here And all she hears is noise We shared a final kiss that night Asked if it meant a thing I thought it did but I was wrong What was I supposed to think? I worry about how she is At least once every day If only 'cause I am the reason That we didn't stay Together for a longer time I swore it wouldn't break Another couple months, by then It'd be a stronger pain I had to break a young girl's heart I hope her's is the last 'Cause if I break another one I don't know If i can Find love again in this old world Or if I even should Be able to have another chance And maybe that is good I'm not cut out for being there For much too long a time That's why I'm absolutely scared To be alone and die Cause if there is a Heaven I Am sure that I will break The heart of some sweet angel Like I did in prior days I had to break a young girl's heart Because she said my own Was not beating for her as much As she would like to know She said if all the things that made Her body up could change I'd want them to be altered and Completely rearranged A frankenstein of prior loves Is what she said I'd want But I would never ask for that 'Cause she was just the one Then everything collapsed and she Wanted to fix it up But I could see that there was nothing left And we were stuck I had to break a young girl's heart And this is how it ends We both have gone our separate ways And we won't speak again
3.
Rosalia 05:38
lyrics
Now what does Rosalia see when she opens her eyes Every now and then? Even though long ago she died Palermo, Sicily is where the little girl fell ill Passed away after two years, now she lies preserved and still Wish that I could see things from her point of view She is so lovely to me but might be unnatural to you An urban fallacy, but one that I believe She is just one of a kind, she is everything to me Rosalia open your eyes And tell me what it's like to die Rosalia please awake And tell me what you did on your last day Now what does Rosalia see when a photograph get shot? Does she think about her home? Or does she think about God? What were her beliefs? What kinds of things intrigued her mind? Was she so enamored with the thought of death that she was fine When she finally closed her eyes and passed on Did she comprehend what might happen to her after she'd fall? It's not a mystery, it's the miracle of life To be able to want to come back many years after you've died Rosalia open your eyes And tell me what it's like to die Rosalia please awake And tell me what you did on your last day Now what does Rosalia see when she ponders about about love? Is there anyone in particular that she is thinking of? Someone from memory that maybe stood by her side For the short amount of time she actually got to be alive Does it worry me that she's always being watched? Not at all because knowing that she is still alive makes my heart drop But I am wondering who will take good care of her After I have gone and passed and people wait to hear my words Rosalia open your eyes And tell me what it's like to die Rosalia please awake And tell me what you did on your last day
4.
Only 06:51
lyrics
The only bands I listen to now are the ones you never liked The only time I play songs about you is when I need something to rewrite The only thing that kept me from tossing the box out was pure laziness And the only reason I hope you're okay is 'cause I don't want you to be pissed 'Cause you know if I didn't cut you off You know you never would have thought to I know my reasons seemed kind of vague But I know it didn't matter what I would say to you The only reason I look at you in the halls is 'cause I accidentally raise my head The only mantra I have left from you is scribbled in Sharpie on my bed The only time I know when to shave now is when November is through And the only taste that's left in my mouth is a girl that I tried after you But you know if I didn't cut you off You know you never would have thought to I know my reasons seemed kind of vague But I know it didn't matter what I would say to you I had only one method of recovery Not a new one, but one familiar to me I'd only listen to the first three Barenaked Ladies albums on repeat You never knew a goddamn thing 'cause the only song that you knew was 'One Week' And I always have and I always will Fucking hate Tonic, Riddick Chronicles, And mothers undeserving to raise a child The only people I write about now are you and potential replacements And when I'm not doing that, the only thing that I do is jerk off in the basement The only thing that reminds me I made the right choice is the smile on your face When you run to his arms and he picks you up and puts you in a much better place Now you know if I didn't cut you off You know you never would have thought to I know my reasons seemed kind of vague But I know it didn't matter what I would say to you
5.
Forest 10:34
lyrics
If I fall down in the forest And no one is around Will my death even be recognized? And will I make a sound? If I fall down in the forest And no one's there to see Am I still considered paralyzed When the bones crack in my knees? And I keep falling over Falling over, falling over Falling over in this town And I keep falling over Falling over, falling over Falling over all around I keep falling over Getting older, I'm no longer Who I used to be I keep falling over Getting older, I'm no longer What I wanted to see If I fall from the Sears tower From the very top floor Will my splattered corpse be walked around? Or will they trudge on through the gore? If I fall from the Sears tower Will I die before I land? In the windiest of busy towns Only air between my hands And I keep falling over Falling over, falling over Falling over in this town And I keep falling over Falling over, falling over Falling over all around I keep falling over Getting older, I'm no longer Who I used to be I keep falling over Getting older, I'm no longer What I wanted to see If I go to San Francisco Would the water break my fall When I jump off the bridge of golden gates? Or would I not make it all? If I go to San Francisco Be reminded of the time When you said this is where you were gonna stay Where I'd left you behind And I keep falling over Falling over, falling over Falling over in this town And I keep falling over Falling over, falling over Falling over all around I keep falling over Getting older, I'm no longer Who I used to be I keep falling over Getting older, I'm no longer What I wanted to see If I fall down in the forest Will the trees not say a word? Will the branches just stay very still Like the ending of my world? If I fall down in the forest When the water's all run dry Will I make it back over the hill To my once protective life? And I keep falling over Falling over, falling over Falling over in this town And I keep falling over Falling over, falling over Falling over all around I keep falling over Getting older, I'm no longer Who I used to be I keep falling over Getting older, I'm no longer What I wanted to see
6.
Support 05:05
lyrics
I will save you from torture and nurse you to health I will bathe you with knowledge and passion and wealth I will give you the tools that you need to survive But I will not support you in being alive I will swallow the poison when you've fallen ill I will make things much brighter when they seem distilled I will worship your feet as you reign and you thrive But I will not support you in being alive I will do every task that you order me to I will let you abuse me till my body's blue I will eliminate my desire to revive 'Cause I will not support you in being alive I will gather the knights and the kings and the queens I will set up a ceremony on the greens I will pray to three sixes while counting in five But I will not support you in being alive I will cast off your demons and make me their slave I will obey your wishes from beyond the grave I will die for your love like a bee in the hive But I will not support you in being alive I will care for your family, friends, and cohorts I will build you the shiniest and nicest of forts I will make myself worthless and look like I strive But I will not support you in being alive I will not support you in being alive I will not support you in being alive I will not support you in being alive
7.
Say 08:49
lyrics
I'll never say I love you again I'll never say we'll be more than friends I'll never say what I feel in a song But as you see I'm always wrong And it's good to know that if I ever want to sing my old songs to new lovers All I have to do is change the eye color And it's good to know that if I ever want to die All I have to do is sing it with pride Make a few dollars then say goodbye I'll never get down on one knee I'll never ask anyone to marry me Though it is probably for the best I'm so cliché, you could have guessed And it's good to know that if I ever want to sing my old songs to new lovers All I have to do is change the eye color And it's good to know that if I ever want to die All I have to do is sing it with pride Make a few dollars then say goodbye And it's good to know that if I ever want to recite my old speeches to new listeners All I have to do is change the big words And it's good to know that if I ever want to run away All I have to do is get in shape Take a few dollars, and I'll be on my way
8.
Naked 05:50
lyrics
Naked and alone awoke from shortened sleep A laundry list of promises that I just couldn't keep Finding love is hard, losing it is simple Depression can't be cured by hitting metal cymbals Staying up, late as I can on a weeknight I'm putting off all of my work that I really should do Midnight it comes rolling round and my lights are still on because all I can think about is hurting you Wishing I wasn't at fault but I am and I'm sorry I've left you the way that I did but you know There comes a point where you have to move on and I'm trying to do it but I can't seem to make it through Naked and alone, pale and sleepy-eyed Unbelievable, wish I would've died Getting too obsessed with those I barely know My only confidence is hidden by a show There is no acid that's strong enough to take away all my apathy feelings and regrets in life There is no medicine heavy enough to be able to comatose me so that I can survive There is no way that you'd ever forgive me but someday I hope you know why I did everything There is no doubt in my mind that we had to split up to save both of us from falling off of the swing I want to rip off all of my skin That I walk around, daily within I want to question every single Decision that I've made with a grin I want to clutch somebody real close Tell them about my dark twisted roads See if they still want to be a friend When will this broken roller coaster end? When will this broken roller coaster end? Naked and alone, scratches on my knees Holding back the urge to spur apologies Wish it all would end, wish it could get fixed I had never asked for any of this
9.
Smitten 09:52
lyrics
Smitten by an angel striking down the devil Central blood is pumping, darkened blood is draining Brain's too busy running, every time she's walking Sitting here just wondering what the Hell I'm writing Overthinking too fast, and this isn't the last time I will But if this could really last, then I'll avoid the crash that's inevitable Trying to set the limits, for every time I'm thinking About doing something, where I might want to contact Her but I just can't stop, thinking of things that I want To let her know so I don't, seem so desperately alone Overthinking too fast, and this isn't the last time I will But if this could really last then I'll avoid the crash that's inevitable If I fall in too deep, and I can't seem to keep My composure to a calming level, almost asleep I could screw it all up, say the wrong kinda stuff She could could crack the case and find out that I'm not good enough 'Cause I'm smitten by her love that I don't even have yet Gripping like a clutch on the lovely baphomet Smitten by her love, smitten by her love Smitten by her love, that I don't even have yet She likes to go out drinking, I like to stay in listening To all the planet's sound waves, makes for a perfect day She leaves me questioning putting rules behind me Her face is simply enough, a lovely little teacup Overthinking too fast, and this isn't the last time I will But if this could really last then I'll avoid the crash that's inevitable If I fall in too deep, and I can't seem to keep My composure to a calming level, almost asleep I could screw it all up, say the wrong kinda stuff She could could crack the case and find out that I'm not good enough 'Cause I'm smitten by her love that I don't even have yet Gripping like a clutch on the lovely baphomet Smitten by her love, smitten by her love Smitten by her love, that I don't even have yet My mind it races, paces back and forth What thoughts will reign supreme in my mental war? She makes me feel like I have never before I need more time to think I need more time to see If she's truly right for me But now I think she is For now I think she is And I am Smitten by her love that I don't even have yet Gripping like a clutch on the lovely baphomet Smitten by her love, smitten by her love Smitten by her love, that I don't even have yet
10.
Dogs 07:04
lyrics
Group of rockers fled here from Iran Start a life in Brooklyn was the plan Said they'd call themselves The Yellow Dogs But a murder-suicide had called it off Raefe Ahkbar involved in The Free Keys Killed two dogs then made himself bleed A petty conflict sparked insanity And only one musician was left free But will you remember The Yellow Dogs? And how they suddenly got shot Will they bring you to pray? Just hear their extended play But please remember The Yellow Dogs Sourosh Farazmand strikes the strings no more His brother Arash's drumsticks hit the floor Now there is only one more of The Yellow Dogs Their booking agent still completely shocked The author Ali Eskandarian And Sot from an Iran art collective Were victims of the the shooter's crazy crime It's sad to see this happen at this time But will you remember The Yellow Dogs? And how they suddenly got shot Will they bring you to pray? Just hear their extended play But please remember The Yellow Dogs In '94 Kurt Cobain shot himself In theory he should've shot someone else But not one of The Yellow Dogs They all should still be 'round to walk In '70 Jim Hendrix puked to death Hurled over Elvis Presley's white toilet But both of them died doing something dumb Mercy for those brothers from Iran But will you remember The Yellow Dogs? And how they suddenly got shot Will they bring you to pray? Just hear their extended play But please remember The Yellow Dogs

about

Ten songs about love and death.

credits

released December 3, 2013

All songs on this album were written, performed, recorded, mixed, and produced by L. Mounts

THIS ALBUM WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE WITHOUT THE LOVE, DEDICATION, AND SUPPORT OF MY FAMILY AND ALL OF THESE FINE YOUNG PEOPLE (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER):

Michael Molitor, Jack Myers, Kevin Conroy, Chris Glattard, Johnny Williams, John Schmisek, Erik Czaja, Anthony Sanders, Christopher Dertz, Nick Schmidt, Mike Crotty, Olivia Madsen, Leor Miller, Leslie Skizas, Sarah Gompers, Mark Colegrove, Olivia Tsotsos, Kristen Leahy, Joe Viglietti, Miranda Viglietti, Jack Walker, Chris Bob, Dakota Bahney, Taylor Parissi, Drew Landry, Joe Zumpano, Andrew Lee, Stephanie Guthrie, Rebecca Guthrie, Stef Roti, Patrick Brower, Kegan Kriete, Matt Garrett, Adam Rothschild, Jake Witz, Colin McCune, Emiko George, John Bradley, Scott Scharinger, Blake Schwarzenbach, and you.

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L. Mounts Chicago, Illinois

Singer of songs. Abstainer of substances. Bringer of plagues.

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