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Fight Castle

by L. Mounts

/
1.
There is a light that I cannot see It’s much too far, far away from me It shines on those with a pretty face It’s a pretty straightforward way to change How I look at humankind The ones I love and the ones I despise The rationale comes out similar Everyone’s a blur of their character And sometimes I just sit and watch the lovely people walk on past I stare sometimes I do not look at all I am incredibly small To the beautiful humans on this earth That make me question what I’m worth There are gorgeous gorges of bright young minds That are never gonna be mine There is a dancefloor in the rain parade Some just ride with smiles, I just hide in shame I look across the train at pretty girls But I say no words, I remain unheard I haven’t loved since I was seventeen I was young at heart, but too old for dreams The church of all who know about success And self-confidence mock my impotence Cause I just get so scared I am unable to express myself The proper way I am invisible They are incredible All the beautiful humans on this earth That make me question what I’m worth There are gorgeous gorges of bright young minds That are never gonna be mine I feel as though I missed an opportunity to thrive I get so stricken down by ingenuity to stay alive I am fixated on a dream of living without qualms at all I do agree, I don’t exist That’s why I have to resist All the beautiful humans on this earth That make me question what I’m worth There are gorgeous gorges of bright young minds That are never gonna be mine
2.
I got some memories my porch light It flickers and burns and shines in the night I remember when the birds used to fly out And I got a little scared but it’s okay to get a little scared if you don’t know where I used to walk outside in the morning I’d check the mailbox and I’d the see the glass hung over me Sometimes I still think there still might be creatures inside there And then I close the door and I open my mail and I put it on the record player it goes I got green eyes, I got brown eyes I got dark black circles under my eyes I try to just hide it all like a disguise But pride is just lies if you don’t realize What you’re really worth, what you’re really really worth You’re really worried, you’re really really worth nothing But it really works, sometimes it really hurts Just like Tiberius we can’t all be ethereal like It’s a life and you gotta love it If a lie’s got you crushing on it Boot stamp its heart out Don’t give up right now
3.
I try to hope that I’m not simply still stuck in the motions I need someone that I can prove to all my love and devotion But when I try you just turn your head away I am stuck here with no words to say I am mute, I am blind, I am cursed to live this lonely life I know, it’s my fate, but I know there are no angels past the gate I wanna feel like my existence isn’t totally wasted But when I try to make improvement I just can’t even face it I need someone who will validate me One to kiss who will not berate me I am mute, I am blind, I am cursed to live this lonely life I know, it’s my fate, but I know there are no angels past the gate Locked and closed, are my chances of experiencing growth I am null, I am everything but wonderful This is time better spent with someone else they say I am useless in every way I don’t believe that I am strong enough to Emit attraction to the one I want to I am mute, I am blind, I am cursed to live this lonely life I know, it’s my fate, but I know there are no angels past the gate Locked and closed, are my chances of experiencing growth I am null, I am everything but wonderful
4.
Let me paint you a picture I can’t paint you picture But I know you’d like me if I could ‘Cause the one that you like can do it pretty good Let me graffiti your name downtown I can’t graffiti your name downtown I would get charged as a vandal But that guy you have your eye on made it look like a Van Gogh It’s art store confidential Art store confidential You’ll never realize my potential ‘Cause you like guys who draw with pencils It’s art store confidential Art store confidential You’ll never realize my potential ‘Cause you like guys who draw with pencils And I’m just penman running out of ink Let me design you a new dress I can’t design you a new dress You’re never one to drop money on clothes But if you bought the one he made you’d wear it everywhere you go Let me come back when I’m skilled enough I won’t come back when I’m skilled enough It wouldn’t matter how great I was I’m just a coffee shop to you he’s like a thousand museums It’s art store confidential Art store confidential You’ll never realize my potential ‘Cause you like guys who draw with pencils It’s art store confidential Art store confidential You’ll never realize my potential ‘Cause you like guys who draw with pencils And I’m just penman running out of ink Well I’ve seen your comics Most people haven’t seen your comics I wanna publish your comics Although you likely don’t want it But if he saw your comics It’d be like I had never seen your comics You’d want him to publish your comics And cast me out onto the comets It’s art store confidential Art store confidential You’ll never realize my potential ‘Cause you like guys who draw with pencils It’s art store confidential Art store confidential You’ll never realize my potential ‘Cause you like guys who draw with pencils And I’m just penman running out of ink
5.
I watch you sink into the ground below my feet Can’t taste it, can’t make it, the liquid’s much too sweet My body, psyche, it shrivels up so fast I become very numb, how long does this emptiness last? My heart continues to implore I wonder if I will have any more I won’t ever figure all this out You are the nourishment I need I am the California drought I miss you, your world view, the feeling you’d provide I grow up, soon enough I will not be alive Where’d you go? Come back home, I’m gonna dehydrate When I move without you, I truly hate this place My heart continues to implore I wonder if I will have any more I won’t ever figure all this out You are the nourishment I need I am the California drought My sore throat, my dry eyes My instincts won’t advise Me to just act normal This distance is torture My fingers, they slow down My lips they move around In hope of this craving But am I worth saving? My heart continues to implore I wonder if I will have any more I won’t ever figure all this out You are the nourishment I need I am the California drought I won’t ever figure all this out You are the nourishment I need I am the California drought
6.
What if your fingers were as thick as your legs? You could wear underwear in public without feeling ashamed What if your tongue could speak the words of the grave? You could know wisdoms of the deceased without being afraid What if your car alarm was only one note? You couldn't catch a criminal you'd have to let them all go What if a spider saw through only its nose? You couldn't kill it it would smell you coming miles from home I know a thing or two about knowing a thing or two And knowing things is useless if you've got no one to tell them to I've got an idea about having an idea And ideas are useless if you've got no one that's hearing you What if a monster really slept 'neath your bed? You would be strong enough to punch it down and proclaim it dead What if a parasite snuck into your head? You would be smart enough to fight it with things you never said What if your adversary simply gave up? You'd never know the thrilling feeling of a willing triumph What if in grand schematics nothing was dumb? You'd never apprehend your words because you wouldn't be judged I know a thing or two about knowing a thing or two And knowing things is useless if you've got no one to tell them to I've got an idea about having an idea And ideas are useless if you've got no one that's hearing you I plead the fifth when I refuse to plead the fifth Cause every truth just seems half-hearted if you don't ever own up to it I fought the law because I had to fight the law because The law of love gets broken when you're in love then you're breaking up Do you ever sit and watch the time go by? Watch the time go by Watch this time, goodbye Do you ever sit and watch the time go by? A sky isn't a sky if the clouds aren't soaring high Do you ever sit and watch the time go by? Watch the time go by Wash and then you dry Do you ever sit and watch the time go by? A lie isn't a lie if your words remain untried So don't lie
7.
Calgary 05:34
Calgary, sing to me Fill me with your words and kill me with your tears Oh, Calgary Calgary, be with me Crush me with your crimes until i disappear Oh, calgary Take me to the place where i want to go Up to the white north i’m stuck here below We can keep each other warm from the bitter cold Please be my angel in the snow Calgary, please wait for me I will not be long i just want to explore Monogamy Calgary, in spite of me Smile with your teeth i don’t want anymore Autonomy Take me to the place where i want to go Up to the white north i’m stuck here below We can keep each other warm from the bitter cold Please be my angel in the snow Take me as i am, please never let me go Oh, Calgary Calgary, my deity Bright in every sense and gorgeous to the nines Sweet Calgary Calgary, my finest dream Passport states my home, but it won’t be till you’re mine Dear Calgary Take me to the place where i want to go Up to the white north i’m stuck here below We can keep each other warm from the bitter cold Please be my angel in the snow Take me as i am, please never let me go Oh, Calgary Take me as i am, please never let me go Oh, Calgary Dear Calgary Sweet Calgary Calgary, my Calgary
8.
I drink some water, water gives me fuel To make the walk that’s very far away from you There is a darkness, it’s calling out my name I don’t feel paranoid it happens every day I walk around in smaller men’s clothing I take breaks while others are talking I feel insecure of my body I’ll just waste away till i’m nothing My father’s a farmer forever falling forward towards the flock I am an astronaut whose rocket’s headed straight for planet rock My sister is a doctor, helps me relieve all my pain My mother writes for local papers places words in our brain I don’t smoke nothin’, but nothin’ makes you cool They offer whiskey and try to be so cruel There is a light on, it’s welling up my skin I feel an aching that’s coming from within I am short of any new culture Tear my limbs and feed them to vultures Sick sad man in black and he’s crooning Will he die alone? Absolutely My father’s a farmer forever falling forward towards the flock I am an astronaut whose rocket’s headed straight for planet rock My sister is a doctor, helps me relieve all my pain My mother writes for local papers places words in our brain I am a one of a kind I come from family aligned I will create a testament To what my parents built My father’s a farmer forever falling forward towards the flock I am an astronaut whose rocket’s headed straight for planet rock My sister is a doctor, helps me relieve all my pain My mother writes for local papers places words in our brain
9.
I want to feel good in my sheets I want to be a deity I want to construct my own lease I want to make my me a we I want to have a faith thee I want to build a colony And when I get angry it’s just a debate On whether I’m more horny or lonely, frustrated Myself into corners I can’t wriggle out of I spend all my evenings just shooting my mouth off I am a god, a shining golden god I am fraud, inevitable fraud I’m only brought down by those who think I’m not But I must be a god because I don’t believe in myself I want a throne up above I want a one consistent love I want a figure to think of I want a baptism of trust I want a life monogamous I want an ex-love exodus And all of my scriptures have gone out of date There are burn marks on Romans and I can’t relate To the stories of angels that I never knew I am just sitting passing my life straight through I am a god, a shining golden god I am fraud, an evitable fraud I’m only brought down by those who think I’m not But I must be a god because I don’t believe in myself Praise me, praise me Now you must obey me Raise me, raise me Come and validate me Break me, break me I am just a red sea Save me, save me Strip my authority
10.
I want you to show me all the things that you’re into I want you to teach me all the things that I don’t know I want you to make me forget all that I’ve been through I want you to make me feel like I’m no longer alone So put your arm around a friend Baby please Won’t you let that friend me? I’ve done all I can I’ve made mistakes Don’t let them get in the way Of this embrace I just can’t wait Until you let me kiss your face And we can grin the whole day through And I will put my arm around you I want you to let me in on all of your secrets I want you to feel me in ways I’ve never felt before I want you to just lose sight of all of your regrets I want you to feel like you don’t need waiting anymore So put your arm around a friend Baby please Won’t you let that friend me? I’ve done all I can I’ve made mistakes Don’t let them get in the way Of this embrace I just can’t wait Until you let me kiss your face And we can grin the whole day through And I will put my arm around you I want you to hold me like you won’t ever let go I want you to trust me and know I will always be here I want you to whisper my name outside my window I want you to know that you have nothing left to fear So put your arm around a friend Baby please Won’t you let that friend me? I’ve done all I can I’ve made mistakes Don’t let them get in the way Of this embrace I just can’t wait Until you let me kiss your face And we can grin the whole day through And I will put my arm around you

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released May 5, 2015

All songs written and recorded by L. Mounts.

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L. Mounts Chicago, Illinois

Singer of songs. Abstainer of substances. Bringer of plagues.

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